Red Queen, Gold Ring
by The Queen of Asgard
Summary: Born under mysterious circumstances, Gandalf finds a young girl who has wizard blood running through her veins and takes her on as an apprentice. Lorelei may have a destructive streak the size of The Lonely Mountain in her but that doesn't stop her from trying her hardest to keep up on the adventures that lay out before her and her new found friends. (Spanning Hobbit/LOTR movies)
1. Legends aren't Born

In the howling storm, her scream pierced through the snow like a knife, fierce and sharp. The inn was warm and comfortable but the people inside dared not relax, glancing into the drinks anxiously every once in awhile while another tempest raged on upstairs.

"Push my deary, push!" A woman commanded loudly as another laying on a bed, her black curls sweaty and matted groaned again, trying to push the wanton babe from her belly. Letting out another scream of frustration, the woman pushed until she felt like she would split open like an old man's purse.

"I see a head as black as night!" One woman exclaimed as the woman with the curls took a deep breath, her heart pounding like a gong. "Keep going, my love!"

No woman there actually knew the name of the woman whom they were helping but all had been midwives at one point of their lives or another. She had come in, womb swollen, just ready to burst, no man to help her carry in the heavy backpack that she had with her. The patrons of the inn had scratched their heads but in turn, they merely turned back to their ales and beers and continued on with their lives.

That was until she started wailing that her water had broken. Three women had rushed up to help and that was the last the patrons ever saw of them. It had gone on for hours, the woman cooing and urging and threatening the woman to hurry up and get that baby out of her body.

"Here it comes," one gasped as she raced around, handing the other two threadbare towels and positioning herself at the child's head, "Goodness, that's quite a bit of hair!"

"Almost there, come on!" The second one urged as with one more labored scream, the woman screamed, tears falling from her eyes as she expelled the baby from her body. Her head fell backwards, her breast heaving while the world spun around her, "It's a girl."

"A girl…" The word came breathless from the woman's mouth as the world faded in and out.

"Oh, she's losing a lot of blood. Quickly, stop that flow," the older midwife instructed. The youngest shoved some towels underneath the woman and placed a towel at her opening but to no avail. She was bleeding faster than any of them had ever seen.

"We can't stop it," One midwife snapped angrily as the other who was not holding the child also tried to staunch the blood. "She's bleeding too fast!"

"I've never seen anything like this," the third mused, still holding the child, "Why isn't the child crying?"

"How should I know!" Another snapped angrily, blood coating her fingers, "Ah, there's nothing we can do."

"But we…"

"There's nothing we can do, Ophelia. If the gods want her dead, then so be it." She turned her head sadly towards the dark haired woman, whose eyes were beginning to unfocus, "I'm so sorry, dearie."

"Let me…" She took a shuddering breath and all waited to see if this may be her last, "Let me hold my baby."

"Give her the child, Euriel," Ophelia murmured sadly as the youngest stepped forward and placed the baby in her mother's arms. The dark haired woman laughed softly and touched her child's cheek, leaving a spot of blood on her skin. The baby looked up at her mother with wide, wandering eyes and tried to reach out for her mother's hand.

"You will do great things in this world, Lorelei," Her mother whispered as she reached down and placed her lips against the girl's forehead, "You will become a great and powerful being…" Suddenly, her head lulled back and the life left her eyes as the baby began to cry, her mother's arms going limp.

"Take the child! Quickly now,we must get her out of here before she starts stinking up the place!" The innkeeper said sharply as the other two women began to bustle around the room, tossing bloody rags into buckets and wiping down surfaces covered in bodily fluids. The innkeeper was down the stairs in an instant, babe in her arms. She hurried over to her husband who stood up instantly and looked at the child.

"The woman…." He began but the innkeeper held up her hand.

"She's dead, no surprise. She looked unhealthy when she first came in here. The child, on the other hand, is healthy."

"So it's a girl?" Her husband asked in distaste. The innkeeper nodded and then held the baby closer to her chest.

"Before she died, she called the babe Lorelei." She shifted the now sleeping child in her arms and nodded towards the door, "I will take her to the orphanage."

"Wait," Her husband said quickly, "Let's not be too hasty. We are always looking for new hands to hire. Why can't we save money and adopt the child as our own?"

"But I thought you would want…" She began until her husband held up a hand.

"The child will be ours." He said sternly, "She will be our daughter: our dear sweet Lorelei. She will work for the tavern and we will raise her."

The woman nodded and held to the child...now hers to do with as she pleased. And so, in the midsts of a howling storm, the legend had already begun: the legend of the Red Queen.

* * *

_-13 years later-_

"Lorelei!" Someone called out. I turned around and saw my friend and neighbor Crow standing outside the window, smiling up at me. I sighed and stepped down from my stool, brushing my hands off on my apron.

"Crow! What are you doing here?! If Momma catches you here I'm sure…"

He laughed and then tossed an apple through the window. I caught it with general ease and bit into it, relishing the crisp, tart flavor as it burst in my mouth.

"Come on Lorelei!" He urged, bouncing on his heels, "The traveling merchants are in Bree and I want to go with you!"

I sighed and put the apple down on the table, "I can't go and you know it! Momma would never let me go and I have a thousand things to do!"

"Oh please Lorelei! Your mother never lets you do anything anymore! Please come with me!" He begged as I pretended to think about it.

"On one hand, Momma would wring my neck like a spring chicken if she found out...on the other hand, I do want to go and see the merchants!" I smiled in spite of myself, "Perhaps I'll ask her and see what she says."

He sighed and blew a tuft of straw yellow hair out of his face, "Oh fine! But hurry back, please! I want to go see the merchants!"

"Please ask her!" Crow begged. I nodded and raced out of the kitchen, nearly bumping into patrons as I ran towards the fireplace where my mother always kept a fire burning. I knew that Iragrin wasn't my mother but was the one who birthed me. I didn't know who my real mother was. I didn't even know her name, to be honest. Nobody did...at least nobody in Gondor did. I didn't even have a picture to remember her by. Iragrin told me that I looked like her though. Same dark black hair and pointed nose with a bony face and too tall of a frame. She said that my hair weighed me down and kept me from flying away like a dandelion seed when I was a child. However, along with the fact that I had been born from a nameless woman, I had another secret: I could do magic.

Now, when the people of Middle Earth thought magic, they believed it to be merely illusion if not performed by the wizards. My magic was real. I could feel it in my bones, whether or not my parents believed it. It always seemed to bring in a little bit of extra money so they didn't really seem to mind if I practiced or not. But it left a question in my mind: who had my father been?

"Momma! Momma!" I cried as my mother whirled around and gave the "if you don't get back in that kitchen right now I'll give you something to cry about" look, "May I please go to the market?"

She scoffed and put her hands on her hips, "I hardly doubt you'd ask if you were going alone. Is Crow going with you?"

I blushed but said nothing. Scoffing, she turned back to the table she had been wiping and sighed, "I should have known. That boy is nothing but trouble. He steals from anything he can get his hands on and tries to pawn it off the rest of his grungy friends." Her shoulders sagged while she looked towards the great wooden door, "Just...promise me you won't get into any trouble."

"Oh, thank you, Momma! Thank you!" I cried, giving her a giant hug, "I promise I won't get into trouble and I'll kick and scream if anyone tries to take me and sell me on the streets! I promise."

She chuckled and patted my back, "Just get out of there."

"I promise, Momma!" I yelled as I slipped between two men eating their lunch and out the door, "She said yes!"

"Oh good!" Crow cried as the two of us raced down the street, already full of flowers for market time. I was taller than he was although Crow was older and he was able to dodge people much easier than I could. I murmured apology after apology as I tried to keep up with him, my feet tripping up on uneven cobblestones and stumbling over my dress.

"Wait up, Crow!" I called, trying to keep up with the smaller boy. He merely laughed and began to run faster until we finally stumbled down an alleyway. "Could you please not go as fast?" I gasped, out of breath. Grinning, he pushed his bangs back from his eyes and giggled.

"What's the matter, Bar Maid? Did I run too fast?" He teased. I shot him a glare and he instantly shut up, the smile faltering from his face, "Well come on! The others are waiting for us!"

He grabbed my hand and we hurried past the caravans advertising their wares and trinkets and shoppers who lazily strolled down the streets, admiring the road weary travelers, gentlemen flirting with young ladies who bashfully batted their eyelashes and giggled. When we finally reached a group of kids, each dirtier than the last, they looked up at me with wide eyes and excited expressions.

"Are you going to do magic, Lorelei?" One of the youngest girls asked. I sighed and gave her a tired smile.

"Of course I am. I need to create a distraction." I said finally. The boys and girls made noises of excitement and a few even bounced on the balls of their heels in anticipation for the day's events. There were about 12 kids and Crow just so happened to be their leader. Most had been homeless their entire lives, disease and accidents creating orphans, like me. I had been fortunate enough but after I had caught Crow trying to sneak a pie from the window sill of the inn, I had believed that I should be able to pay my good fortune back to others who weren't as lucky as me.

The children hurried around, setting up a little makeshift stage as Crow got the attention of anyone who would stop, "Lads and Ladies, Dwarves and Hobbits alike! Our act is so unique that there is no other in Middle Earth like her!"

I stepped up onto the stage to light clapping as I took a little bow and began to perform cheap tricks. These that I performed were nothing special. I didn't even tap into magic to do these. They were all a slight of hand or illusion tricks. However, I had gotten so good at them that I could make it look like magic. And while the tricks were leaving my hands, people's coins and valuables were leaving the crowd's pockets. Crow and his gang began to pick the pockets of anyone who was stupid enough not to feel their sly little fingers.

I was in the middle of a simple card trick when I saw a man in a great grey robe and slightly crooked hat watching me with kind, intelligent blue eyes. On his face he had an impressive beard that matched his hair and eyebrows and a pipe hung from between his lips. The instant our eyes connected, I felt my body give a slight jolt, like I had gotten too close to a raging fire.

Suddenly, the old man reached down and grabbed Crow by the scruff of his shirt! Crow began to kick and scream, causing a commotion that caught the attention of the guards.

"What's all this nonsense?" One asked in a cold tone of voice as the old man dropped Crow who tried to run. However, before he could bolt, the old man had his staff across his chest, pressing Crow into the folds of his robes.

"I do believe that these children," He said, nodding to Crow and then to me, "Are part of a scam. You may wish for all these good people to turn out their pockets.

"You heard the man! Turn out those coffers!" The guard shouted while indignant cries of people who had lost something dear began to pierce the cool afternoon air, "Grab that girl!"

"Run!" I shouted at the other kids. They didn't need to be told twice. In an instant, they had disappeared down every rathole they knew of. However, I wasn't quite as lucky. The guards began to mount the stage, "Please stay back! I don't want to hurt you!" I yelled as one guard scoffed.

"I'm sure some 11 year old girl could really hurt me," I heard him say as they began to approach me, clubs drawn.

"Please! I'm warning you…" I began to say but it was too late. As if a hiccup had suddenly unleashed itself from my body, my hand raised on its own and shoved the guard back. With a yell, he went tumbling down the steps and knocked the other guards down in a domino effect. I would have stopped to admire my handiwork if the others hadn't started running towards me. I leapt off the stage and raced into the crowds, taking every back road I knew trying to stay away from the guards.

Finally, I caught sight of the inn in the distance, pushing my head down, I ran harder and faster than I had ever ran before. I slammed the door closed behind me, my chest heaving as the patrons looked at me like I was crazy. My mother peered out from the kitchen, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"My dear, are you alright?" She asked slowly as I took the steps two at a time towards my bedroom.

"I'm not here!" I yelled behind me as I dove into my bedroom and locked the door, diving onto my bed. After a few moments, I began to cry, my body shaking as I waited for the guards to burst through the door. All afternoon I waited for them to come and take me away, to take me to the hangman's noose. They never came. The light shifted from afternoon to evening and my room grew dark.

My mother knocking on my door startled me, "Lorelei if you don't open your door right now, I am going to break it down!" She snapped angrily as I hurried over to my door and unlocked it. She came stumbling in and pulled me into a hug, "Don't you scare me like that again!"

"Momma, I'm confused…" I began until she pulled away, the lines on her face more visible than they had been ever before.

"You should have told me about Crow." She said softly, brushing a strand of hair out of my face, "I would have helped you get out of that situation."

"Uh, I'm sorry Momma," I said, confused, "I just…"

"Hush now. It's all right. By the way, there's a man downstairs that wishes to speak with you."

Getting more and more puzzled by the moment, I raced downstairs and came face to face with the old man with the grey robe! "Ah, you must be Lorelei," He said kindly, opening his arms in a friendly gesture.

"Who are you?" I asked slowly, "Besides that who betrays my friends?!"

The old man almost looked ashamed, "Ah yes, well that was nasty business but business nonetheless. Come sit with me, my girl! And bring the brandy! I require something to drink while I tell you of a tale."

I didn't trust him. How could I? He had probably gotten Crow locked up. However, curiosity won out and I went to the kitchen and brought back two large pints. One of brandy for the strange old man and one of a sweet wine that my father made especially for the inn.

"Who are you?" I asked once again. The man took a swig from his tankard before answering.

"I am Gandalf the Gray." He announced as if the name was supposed to mean something to me, "And you, my dear, have wizard's blood running through your veins."

I felt the mug chill beneath my fingers when he said this, "I...I wouldn't know anything about that, Sir."

"Oh? Do tell me, my dear girl, who are your parents?" He asked, leaning forward slightly, the table creaking underneath the new weight of his forearms.

"Well...I didn't know them. My mother died while giving birth to me and nobody ever saw my father. Nobody even knew her name."

"I see," Gandalf murmured, striking a match against the table, "Blow this match out for me, please."

I leaned forward to blow it out but suddenly, his hand was on my forehead, "WITHOUT using your mouth or hands."

I nodded and sat back down, squaring my shoulders. I closed my eyes and exhaled through my nose, trying to shut out the noise that buzzed around us. Like I was pushing away a wall, the flame danced under Gandalf's fingers. Phantom tingling began to spread throughout my arms. I made one of the ghostly, magical arm rise and knock the match to the floor! It clattered to the floor and sputtered out as I opened my eyes.

"Did I do it?" I asked timidly, "Oh! I'm sorry if I burnt you, Mr. Gandalf!"

He guffawed loudly and then looked at me, eyes twinkling, "Lorelei, if you had hurt me, I would have dropped the match! Now tell me about your powers!"

I shrunk back into my chair slightly, "Uh, well, sometimes if I get scared, I can things to explode. Nothing that's ever hurt anyone but…Oh please, Mr. Gandalf, I don't want to talk about this anymore."

He watched me for a few more moments before leaning back and striking another match, lighting his pipe, "Well, I do know some things for certain." He then leaned forward once again, blowing out a smoke ring, "How would you like to be my apprentice?"

* * *

**So, if this story looks familiar, it's because it is. It's based on a story with the same title I created about a year ago. Now, with more planning (and the new Hobbit movie that just came out) it's back! Anyway, reviews are lovely. Anything is lovely. Critique is lovely, comments are lovely, anything is welcomed!**

**The Hobbit, Middle Earth (c) J.R.R Tolkien **  
**Lorelei (c) The Queen of Asgard **


	2. Meeting Bilbo Baggins

-3 Years Later-

"I've never been to The Shire!" I said brightly, attempting to keep up with Gandalf's long strides, "I've always wished to go and see the Hobbits but…"

"I understand, young Lorelei." Gandalf said, obviously trying to keep another explosion from erupting from my fingertips, "You must calm down though."

"Oh, sorry." I apologized, feeling my face heat up. It had been three years since he had taken me away from Gondor and I had begun my journey to become as he was...a wizard! Or perhaps, maybe just half a wizard. We had very quickly come to the conclusion that my mother was indeed a human and my father was to undetermined until we found out that one of the Great Five had been fooling around with a human, no matter how pretty.

"Come along now, Lorelei. We must seek out our Burglar." Gzndalf nodded and smiled in my general direction while I nearly jogged to keep up with him. Finally, Bag End came into view and my excitement grew. Never before had I see a Hobbit! They were so small with hairy feet and jovial smiles on their faces. They seemed wary of us but nodded in a friendly fashion as we passed.

"Ah, here we are," Gandalf announced, opening up a small gate that read "Bag End". He motioned for me to follow him, "We haven't got all day."

I fell into step behind him once again, marveling at the little hole in the hill houses that had very nice little round doors, perfect for Hobbits.

One of the very creatures happened to be sitting outside, watching the grass blow lazily in the breeze while he smoked a long pipe lazily. We approached him and I watched as his head turned towards us, the two strangers that had just suddenly appeared.

"Good morning," The Hobbit said hesitantly, giving us a once over as he stuck his pipe back between his teeth.

"What do you mean?" Gandalf asked quickly, "Do you mean to wish me a good morning or are you implying that it is a good morning whether I want it to be or not? Or perhaps you mean to say you are feeling particularly good on this morning? Or are you simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?"

My head was spinning. I had never been good with Gandalf's quick, and lengthy questions to otherwise simple answers. "As a wizard," He had once told me, "It is best to think with your head, heart and mouth all at the same time." I hadn't even bothered to ask what that meant.

The Hobbit seemed to be just as confused as I was, "Er, I guess all of them at once."

"And a good morning to you, may I add." I said with a little smile. He gave me an appreciative nod and then looked back at Gandalf.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked finally.

"That depends," Gandalf said with a knowing smile, "I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure."

The Hobbit seemed taken aback, "Well...you've got her, haven't you?" He asked, pointing to me.

"Who's to say that I'm not the one who has him instead? Maybe I'm the one asking about an adventure but he just took the question from my mouth." I teased as the Hobbit opened his mouth to say something but then closed it again, like a fish out of water.

"I...you are a strange pair, aren't you?" He said before finally giving Gandalf an answer on the adventure, "As for the adventure? Now, I don't imagine anyone west of Bree having much interest in adventure. Nasty, disturbing, uncomfortable things. Makes you late for dinner." He made a disapproving noise in the back of his throat as Gandalf watched while the Hobbit stood up and made his way to the mailbox, still smoking away on his pipe. Opening the box, he pulled out some letters, smoke billowing out of his mouth in an obviously irritated fashion whether it was by our company or by the contents of the letter. He then turned around and made to go back inside his little Hobbit house.

"Good morning," he grunted irritably, indicating the conversation was over. He was just about to close the door but at that moment, Gandalf scoffed and looked down at me.

"To think that I should have lived to be good-morninged by Belladonna Took's son, as if we were selling buttons at the door."

He instantly stopped and then turned back to Gandalf and I, eyeing us both suspiciously, "Beg your pardon?"

Gandalf crossed his arms over his chest and gave the Hobbit a stern look, "You've changed, but not for the better, Bilbo Baggins."

He seemed confused at first but then allowed the mail to drop to his side, "Do...I know you?"

"Well, you know my name but you don't remember that I belong to it. I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means...me."

"And who is she?" He asked, pointing to me.

"Well, why don't you ask her yourself? She's perfectly capable of speaking," Gandalf said as I nodded and smiled.

"I'm Lorelei."

"Just...Lorelei?" He asked slowly, "And what are you doing traveling with him?"

I sighed in exasperation, "I'm his apprentice! I'm going to be a wizard, just like him."

"Wait...Gandalf…not Gandalf, the wandering wizard who made such excellent fireworks! Old Took used to have them on Midsummer's Eve!" He laughed in spite of himself, "I had not idea you were still in the business."

Gandalf leaned against his staff and arched one bushy eyebrow, "No? And where should I be, Master Hobbit?"

Bilbo chuckled nervously, almost in a confused state and puffed quickly at his pipe.

"Well," Gandalf continued, turning back to me and tapping me lightly on the head with his staff, "I'm pleased to find you remember something about me, even if it only is my fireworks. Lorelei, what do you think about our Mr. Baggins?"

"Personally," I began, "I think that this will be quite good for him. He is sick, Gandalf and this may perhaps be the medicine he requires. Plus, it will be amusing."

"Indeed it shall. Then we shall inform the others!" He announced, turning on his heel.

The pipe dropped from the Hobbit's mouth, "Inform the...What?! Oh, no, no, no! Wait, we do not want any adventures here! No, not today," Another disapproving sound came from his lips, "I suggest you try over the hill or across the water! Good morning!"

With that, he slammed the door in our faces and I looked up at Gandalf, "Well, that didn't go quite the way we wanted it to," I mused. With a twinkle in his eyes, he tapped the side of his nose and touched his staff against the wood of the door. Instantly, it began to glow white hot and he created a small symbol on the door! Gandalf then put his eye up to the window and I heard something scuffle inside the Hobbit hole, perhaps Bilbo trying to figure out what we were doing!

"On the contrary, my dear, we could have not asked for better Burglar material!" He announced, beginning to stride away, I following closely behind.

* * *

"Come along, we mustn't be late!" Gandalf cried, leading a company of dwarves who I had only just met two days ago. It was evening and The Shire was now just closing its sleepy eyes and beginning to rear towards bed...until the company of loud dwarves and two wizards turned drowsy ears and exhausted heads.

"Easy for you to say, Gandalf!" One dwarf cried out as they yelled profanities at each other each time they stepped on another's heel or toe.

"Bilbo won't like this…" I murmured to myself. I took up the rear, following behind the dwarves that apparently took no notice of the quiet little hamlet they were waking up again.

Finally, they reached the little wooden fence of Bag End and nearly knocked over the gate as it was pushed to its limits to allow the dwarves to enter.

The garden path was almost not wide enough to allow all 10 bodies to enter but indeed we all fit. Stopping in front of the door, one sausage like finger rang the doorbell long and hard.

"Oh no! No, no, no! There's no one home! Go away and bother somebody else. There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as is! If this is some clotterd's idea of a joke, I can only say it's in very poor taste!" The muffled voice of Bilbo Baggins was heard from behind the door.

Gandalf stepped out of the way, allowing the dwarves to crowd the door. Suddenly, it burst open and they went tumbling into the foyer, yelling about how everyone and their mother had his foot in the other's eye.

I then saw Bilbo looking over the heads of the dwarves, a look of shock and stress clearly evident on his face, "Gandalf! Lorelei!"

"Terribly sorry about this, Mr. Baggins," I said with an apologetic little smile, "They're just…"

Bilbo turned to see all 12 of the dwarves raiding his pantry and cupboards! He raced over and tried to tell them to stay away from his precious cookware but to no avail. "Those are my plates!" He yelled over the ruckus, "Excuse me! Not my wine!" He watched as one of the dwarves picked up a butter churn and began to walk away with it, "Put that back! Put that back right this instant! Oh no…" He groaned as one of the dwarves began to eat something out of a little jar, "Not the jelly…"

He watched as one of the dwarves, Bombur, I believed his name to be, walk out of the pantry carrying three great wheels of cheese! "Isn't that a tad excessive? Don't you want a cheese knife?"

"Cheese knife?" Another dwarf guffawed, "He eats it by the block!"

When he turned back around, Bilbo was aghast when he saw that chairs were being taken from his room and placed in the dining room turned meeting hall, "No, no! That's Grandpa Mungo's chair! No, I'm sorry you'll just have to take it back." He said while other dwarves made faces at him from behind his back. I put my hand over my mouth and snickered, watching the flustered Bilbo try and save all his beloved items, "That's a book, not a coaster!" He grabbed a map from one of their hands, "I'll be taking that, thank you!"

Gandalf motioned for the two of us to sit down in one of the corners. Even though I was tall for my age (and scrawnier than most boys half of it) I didn't have to stoop but Gandalf had to duck to get under awnings and arches. "I don't think this is going very well," I mused, brushing my skirt out.

"He'll learn, Lorelei," Gandalf promised me as we watched Bilbo pry his possessions out of stubby little fingers.

One of the dwarves approached us, Dori, with a tray of tea and two mugs, "Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf, Miss Lorelei, can I temp either of you with a cup of tea?"

"Oh! Yes please!" I gushed, taking the tea off the tray. It was still scalding and I burned my tongue but I was thankful for the refreshment. Gandalf, on the other hand, waved it off.

"No thank you, Dori. Perhaps a spot of red wine would do." he suggested as the dwarf nodded and took off into the pantry again.

Gandalf stood again and walked into the dining room, avoiding scuttling dwarves and one rather frantic Hobbit. Suddenly, with a loud thud and crash, I saw him smash his head on the chandelier! I tried not to laugh but it was surely a sight that I didn't see frequently. He glared at me and instantly, I sobered up, keeping my lips tightly closed. I could see him counting all the dwarves, naming them all off on his fingers, "Fili, Kili, Oin, Gloin, Dwalin, Balin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dori, Nori...and...Ori!"

I watched as Bifur came up to Gandalf and said something in the native dwarven tongue, Khuzdul. I wasn't adept in any of the other languages in Middle Earth besides the own that I spoke, Westron. However, I was slowly learning Elvish which I was extraordinarily shaky on.

"Yes, you're quite right Bifur, we appear to be one dwarf short." Gandalf noted as Bilfur turned back and joined the party.

"He is late, is all. He traveled North to meet with our kin. He will come," Dwalin promised.

Gandalf got his tiny glass of wine which he easily downed in one sip as I still waited for tea to cool in the corner.

The dwarves began to throw food across the table into each other's mouths as Kili, one of the younger dwarves, walked over the table, carrying several pints of ale. Rolling my eyes, I stood up and walked over to the table, hands on my hips.

"Really now, Master Dwarf. If you are going to carry ale like that, you have no business pouring the drink at all!" I took the mugs out of his hands, the dwarves cheering as I passed them around the table.

"Now, what's your story then?" Kili asked indignantly while I placed the last of the ale in front of Bofur, "Taking ale out of a dwarf's hand, that's a dangerous thing to do, Lady Lorelei."

I scoffed and crossed my arms over my chest, "For your information, I was a barmaid before turning away from that to become a wizard's apprentice!"

"Bah! Where's the fun in that?!" Gloin asked, waving a dismissive hand in retort, "I would be a barmaid any day of the week!"

I had to laugh at this, "You truly want to put on an apron and serve the men of Middle Earth?"

"No, lass! Free beer!"

They cheered and raised their ale mugs, slamming them together, causing foam to fly everywhere.

They finished drinking and then launched right into a burping contest while I laughed at their antics, "Foolish dwarves," I chuckled, turning to see Bilbo standing at his empty pantry with a face of pure horror. When the meal had finished, they began to wander the house and get into even more mischief.

Bilbo went about grabbing things from dwarves ("That's a doily! Not a dishcloth!) and sputtering in anger. Finally, Gandalf stepped in.

"My dear Bilbo, what seems to be the matter?"

"I'm surrounded by dwarves! What are they even doing here?!" Bilbo demanded, throwing the doily on the ground in anger.

"Oh they're quite merry one you're around them long enough," I said, ducking as a shoe went flying through the air.

"I don't want them around and I certainly don't want to get used to them! Did you see the state of my kitchen?! There's mud trod all over the carpets, they've pillaged the pantry! I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to the bathroom, they've all but destroyed the plumbing." He pinched the bridge of his noise in exasperation, "I don't even know what they're doing in my house!"

Ori walked up to us, holding an empty plate, "Excuse me, but what should I do with my plate?" He asked only to get it snatched up by Fili who then proceeded to throw it to Kili who threw it to Bifur who put it in the sink in a timely, orderly fashion.

"See? There you go," I tried to sound upbeat and chipper but it made no impression on the angry Hobbit. They then proceeded to do the same thing with utensils, bowls and other bits of the dishes, eventually all throwing them into the sink to be washed. Gandalf had to duck more than once to avoid a flying saucer or fork.

"Oh could you please not do that? It's my mother's West Farthing crockery, it's over 100 years old!" Bilbo cried while the dwarves began to bang rhythmically on the table, "And don't do that! You'll blunt the butter knifes!"

"Oh d'you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the butter knives!" Bofur mocked as the dwarves launched into a song about what Bilbo Baggins hated...which turned out to be quite a few things.

They burst out into laughter and I into applause when I saw the stack of clean dishes in the sink. However, the mood instantly dimmed when three loud knocks sounded at the door.

"He is here," Gandalf said soberly, moving to the great wooden barricade and turning the knob.

* * *

**So, if you've seen the movie, you know who it is. If you haven't then what the heck are you doing on this story?! Go watch the movie, ya slacker! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and added this story to favorites, followers, etc. You guys are awesome as awesomeness. So, hoping to get one one more chapter in before Christmas. If not, I apologize, I'm leaving to go home tomorrow, looking forward to it quite a bit. **

**Anyway, as always, reviews are great and anything you can offer me is really amazing. Thanks for all your support guys!**

**Listening to obscure bird calls, **  
**Queenie**

**Hobbit (c) J.R.R. Tolkien**  
**Lorelei (c) The Queen of Asgard **


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